Patnude Sheekey picked up Stuart Scott Shurts in Green Valley and was, bringing him to his funeral at Forever Restful Cemetery in Globe at 2:00, p.m. this afternoon. Patnude worked for Best Funeral Home, also in Globe, and, more specifically for Mr. I.M. Best.
Stuart Scott Shurts was resting in the coffin that was in the back of the small, rented 4-cylinder Hyundai SUV that Patnude was driving. He wished he had, rented a Chevy Suburban with a big V8, as Route 77 is a twisty two-lane highway over the mountains. So far, Patnude was right on schedule. He should have, Stuart Scott Shurts at his gravesite in time for his service and burial. He knew, I.M. would go nuts if he was late with Stuart.
Starting to climb one of the mountains, Patnude got behind a loaded semi-truck and trailer that was going about 25 mph. It was okay, as he just passed, a “Passing Lane” sign stating the passing lane was 3 miles ahead. He did the, calculation in his head on how long it would take him to go 3 miles at 25 mph. Patnude was patient. He looked in his rear view mirror and saw a Corvette with, a small line of cars behind it.
He passed the 2-mile sign, then the 1-mile sign, then 1,000 feet sign, then the, 500 feet sign. He was ready to cut into the passing lane when he saw the Arizona highway sign, “Passing Lane Closed for Repairs.” Oh no, he thought. However, he remembered there is another passing lane about 5 miles or so just ahead. A mile or so up Arizona Route 77 he saw the passing lane sign stating the distance, to the next passing lane. He was now doing 30 mph. He did the math again.
The line behind him was getting longer, and the Corvette was right on his ass. He was nervous. He passed all the passing lane signs again: 4 miles, 3 miles, 2 miles, 1 mile, 1,000 feet and 500 feet.
Patnude knew he would have to lurch out into the passing lane to avoid being, stuck behind the three trucks. He was cursing again to himself on why he got stuck with the underpowered 4-cylinder Hyundai.
The passing lane was open. He darted into the left lane before the Corvette. He was now up to 40 mph as he passed the first truck, then 50 mph as he passed, the second truck, with the Corvette still on his ass. At almost 55 mph, he passed the third and last truck. He quickly cut into the right lane ahead of the last truck.
The Corvette blew its horn and the driver gave Patnude the finger as he and, the long line of cars passed him. He didn’t care as he looked at his watch and, confirmed to himself that he and Stuart would just make it in time for Stuart’s, graveside service and subsequent burial.
Patnude then realized that he had just found happiness in the passing lane, on Arizona Route 77 somewhere between Tucson and Globe.
Patnude continued driving the small Hyundai SUV with Stuart Scott Shurts, in the back resting in his coffin on their drive to Globe.
Patnude pulled into Forever Restful Cemetery at 1:52 p.m. and parked at, Stuart Scott Shurt’s gravesite at 1:55 p.m., just in time for the 2:00 p.m. service., His boss, I.M. Best, looked at his watch and breathed a sigh of relief. Several of the cemetery workers quickly and silently removed the coffin from the Hyundai SUV and carried it to Stuart Scott Shurt’s gravesite. Patnude counted only four, people at the gravesite, the minister, a man and two women, and of course the, cemetery workers.
Patnude observed that Stuart had a large upright headstone in place. At the, top of the headstone in large block letters was “Stuart Scott Shurts” and under, it in even larger block letters was “In The Distance.”, Patnude wondered what “In The Distance” meant, especially on a headstone.
He thought he remembered a song by Bette Midler with “distance” in the title,, but he wasn’t quite sure. His curiosity got the best of him and he stopped the, man after the burial service to inquire.
“Excuse me, sir. I’m Patnude Sheekey with Best Funeral home and I was, wondering what ‘In The Distance’ on the headstone means?”, “Patnude, I’m Scott Stuart Shurts and these are my sisters, Susan Sally Shurts, and Sally Susan Shurts.”, Patnude had a sort of blank look on his face.
Scott recognized the blank look from previous family introductions.
“Our, parents only knew or liked two male and two female children names that began, with S. Therefore, they were restricted to a maximum of four children. Hence, my deceased brother was Stuart Scott, I’m Scott Stuart and my two sisters are Susan Sally and Sally Susan. Actually, it’s quite simple. “Now to answer your question regarding ‘In The Distance,’ I believe each one of us will have a different answer. Susan, why don’t you go first?”
“Well, Patnude, ‘in the distance’ was a phrase Stuart used most of his life. He would use it when he answered questions or made statements. His houseboat on Lake Powell was named ‘In the Distance’ and his speed boat ‘In the Distance II. When he had an airplane, it was named ‘In the Distance.’ Oh, and years ago he, owned a local travel agency and it was called ‘In the Distance Travel.’ We decided, ‘In the Distance’ was a perfect inscription on Stuart’s headstone.”
Patnude listened and nodded his understanding.
Scott began, “I will have a little different answer than Susan. Although all of, her comments are correct. Stuart learned the phrase from a crossword puzzle he, was doing when he was a teenager. I think he was 14 or 15 at the time. It somehow seemed like magic to him. He started using the phrase in the distance from then on. He would get excited when he found it again in another crossword puzzle, he was doing. I remember he called me when he first heard Paul Simon’s song, “Train in the Distance.’ That song and Bette Midler’s song, ‘From A Distance’, became his favorite songs. Oh, he also called me when he read Jack Dylan’s poem, ‘In the Distance,’ which then became his favorite poem.”
Susan interrupted, “What about the Blutengel’s song, ‘In The Distance’?” He heard it not long after it was distributed. He called all of us on it. I think the group is from Germany, but I am not sure.” “Sally you’re next,” Scott said., “Again, all of the above comments are true and actually occurred. However, I have a little different interpretation on why Stuart used it.”
“I believe it gave Stuart wiggle room to avoid answering a question. It gave him an easy out and left the questioner wondering and trying to interpret the meaning of Stuart’s answer. He used to create the allusion he could see into the future which he could not, I might add. He also used it to try and convince the listener that he had a vision to see far away, different than looking into the future.
Also, reaching for something in the distance. Finally, my brother liked to, and did, procrastinate and ‘in the distance’ was the perfect response to get Scott off the hook from performing. As you can tell, I’m the pragmatic one of the family.”
Scott and Susan said in unison, “Sally is the pragmatic one.”
“I hope this answers your question on what ‘In the Distance’ means on Stuart’s, headstone,” Scott said., Patnude was quiet, thinking for about 10 seconds.
“Yes, it does. Thank you for, sharing your thoughts with me.”, As Scott, Susan and Sally walked away from Stuart’s gravesite, Patnude determined “In The Distance” was Scott, Susan and Sally’s way of remembering, with, love in their hearts, their brother Stuart.